Pick a Need, Any Need

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what it means to ‘live well’ over the past ~ 6 months. The more I think about it, read about it, and talk to others, I realize there’s no panacea to the problem. It’s something where you need to put the work in, over a sustained period of time, to see a difference.

I feel like I’m in a reasonably good place with living well, across multiple dimensions that I’ve found to be relevant:

• Wealth → I have consistent (stable) income that meets all my daily needs. I’m not ‘rich’ but I can choose what I eat, where I travel, and how I spend my time. This is the classic idea of ‘freedom’ that I’ve heard about entrepreneurship, but I won’t underplay that my background (upbringing / generational wealth) plays a very key role in this.

  • Example: I don’t have to worry about supporting my family (parents / siblings) and I have always had a strong safety net when taking risks (i.e. starting a company). All my basic needs (food, shelter, etc.) are reliably met.

• Relationships → Both intimate and platonic. I’ve found a partner who supports me in my pursuits, to whom I’m physically attracted, and I feel emotionally secure with. Over time, I’ve developed a friend group that I can be open with and rely on, not to mention whose company I genuinely enjoy.

  • Example: If I’m not feeling content and/or I’m ruminating on an issue, I feel comfortable raising this with my partner and friends. There is secure attachment here (more on that concept later) and I don’t feel lonely.

• Self Awareness → I’m not operating in a default mode where I’m chasing a goal that someone else defined. I have the ability to challenge what I’m doing and see how it aligns with my internal value system - of which I have a fairly good grasp - and see alternatives to how I act. I have numerous strategies to diagnose how I’m feeling and what is informing that.

  • Example: I can tell when the work I’m doing is not fulfilling is and why. I can identify when I’m frustrated and lash out at my partner for something that happened (which I haven’t processed). I use a journal and sessions with a therapist + coach, respectively, to make progress in these areas

• Health → I am conscious of what I’m eating and how it informs my mood, energy, etc. I follow intermittent fasting and rules around when I eat and what I’m putting in my body (balanced diet). I workout 2-3 times per week, including cardio, and have recently put more emphasis on my overall mobility (i.e. stretching).

  • Example: I know that I don’t sleep as well when I eat within ~ 2 hours of bedtime. I know that I feel restless and frustrated when I haven’t exercised every ~ 2 days.

I’m still learning what inputs and habits I need to do to make progress in these areas and continue to feel better about myself, but I’m very grateful to be where I am. Not everyone is this fortunate, nor do they start at the same place in their journey. I’ve loosely outlined some of the ‘impact areas’ above (health, income, etc.) but I’ll go into more depth below.

Before we begin… (the structure)

I plan to write weekly on the topic of wellbeing / satisfaction, following this structure:

1. Learn — What have I discovered this past week from reading, talking to people, etc.

2. Think — What are my thoughts on what I’ve learned and how has it shaped my perspectives

3. Build — What am I doing this coming week to act on this?

I hope that after a couple of weeks, ‘Build’ will look more like a status update (i.e. product/service is at X state, planning Y for the coming week), akin to a Build in Public model, while Learn / Think will be more theoretical and continue to inform how I view my product / service evolving.

I have two goals with this publication:

1) Improve my understanding of needs & satisfaction → What this involves, the various areas that it spans (income, relationships, etc.), and how to increase satisfaction for individuals

2) Document my journey on impacting this (building) → Show how I’m working to address the problem areas and how my learning / thinking is impacting what I’m doing in my waking hours.

An Intro to Satisfaction (Learn)

Deficiency (D) Needs - Why You Aren’t Satisfied

I’m making my way through Transcend (Audible), which unpacks Maslow’s hierarchy of needs - how he got there, discoveries along the way, and the areas that have received less attention when they are simplified to a pyramid (see below).

Maslow split a human’s needs into two categories: Deficiency Needs (D-Needs) and Growth / Being Needs (B-Needs). Deficiency Needs are classified by a lack of satisfaction, whether due to food, safety, affection, belonging, or self esteem. It colours how we view reality and twists our natural personality to create superficial behaviour.

If you don’t have sufficient food, your relationship with other people will be coloured by that (”how will it get me closer to food”). Your view of work will be similarly affected (”this paycheck can buy me food”). The same applies if you don’t have sufficient safety, where relationships (”will this person help or hurt my safety”), work (”will this job increase my safety”), etc. are affected.

One misconception is that Maslow didn’t see this as explicitly a progressive chart; you can pursue physiological and safety needs in tandem, or seek belonging and love while not having safety needs met. This is one example of why there is no panacea to wellbeing; you can be unhealthy while making lots of money.

My view on people from different walks of life has changed when I reflect on D-Needs. I can start to understand why a drug addict would make decisions that preserve safety (i.e. abusive relationship) while neglecting what seems like the obvious solution (quit drugs). This isn’t crucial to unpacking satisfaction, but nevertheless a helpful application.

I’d also extend this model to my (previous) understanding of the segments in society (poor, middle class, rich). When I think of someone who is suffering, I isolated their inability to meet needs (i.e. buy food) due to a lack of material wealth. While I think this is part of the problem, a novel observation for me is that lots of people can be unsatisfied while having sufficient income to meet their basic needs (i.e. not living in poverty).

Growth / Being Needs (B-Needs) — How to Be Satisfied

Above D-Needs, Maslow outlines the idea of self actualization & transcendence; understanding one’s purpose in the world and what we can do that tightly aligns with our value system. I hypothesize that a lot of people who have met their D-Needs will start to challenge their local potential / maxima with questions like:

This where things get more complicated. I’ve been reading Zak Stein’s Education in a Time Between Worlds and took particular interest in the concept of Levels of Development (also comparable to Kegan’s Levels), see below:

My understanding of the theory is as follows (VERY simplified):

1. To Representations → We grow from purely hedonistic (Ages 0-36 months), understanding something from immediate perception (”this is food”), to relational perception (”you have more food than me”).

   1. This can span multiple categories, i.e. moral (”I get punished when I do something bad”) and self (”My friend is angry when I take their stuff”).

2. To Abstractions → We start to understand the idea of institutions, social contract, etc. and how multiple concepts can intertwine. I.e. “being comfortable with my girlfriend is a necessary condition for my own happiness”.

   1. One begins to understand the role of institutions (i.e. collective social contracts), how certain qualities make you a good employee, etc.

3. To Principles → We can draw universal principles to a given area (ethics, faith, etc.) and be more compassionate to others.

   1. I.e. John is deserving of my respect because he is a fellow man, not because aggressions to him will result in punishment (law / order) or social consequences (frowned upon by peers)

I had to consult numerous sources (i.e. FAB4 & their examples) to understand this better, and I think that Kegan’s Levels is perhaps an easier way to understand this. Most importantly, on the topic of ‘Principles’, from Kegan’s Levels:

• Level 3 → External sources are used to guide your decisions and feelings of worth. I.e. You will evaluate the rightness of a decision by other agents (your friends, peers, etc.) instead of your own internal values.

  • Practical example: I workout and I evaluate how ‘good’ I am at this by how my peers judge my physique, how much I can lift, etc.

• Level 4 → There is an understanding of Self, and as a consequence, more reflection and introspection on why I put value into something.

  • Practical example: I feel like I’m doing a disservice to my value of health, mood, etc. if I don’t work out consistently.

• Level 5 → My identities are seen as discrete from my value system, I am open to new decision making systems, and I can see better alternatives.

  • Practical example: I value working out and my physical health but understand that I may not be able to accomplish peak fitness while seeing to other responsibilities (i.e. doing well at work, caring for my partner, etc.). My identity as being a fit individual is separate from my identity as being a caring partner.

So why does this all matter? In short; I believe the following (in order):

1. You can’t accomplish your full potential (B-Needs) until you’ve met your basic needs (D-Needs).

2. If you haven’t developed beyond a phase of Abstractions or haven’t fully developed a sense of Self (Level 4), you can’t realize your B-Needs.

3. Many adults have trouble unpacking which of their needs require more attention, and therefore are in a period of ‘stuckness’.

   1. Their dissatisfaction may span multiple areas (work, relationships, health, etc.) but manifests the most in a particular area.

   2. I.e. person who is lonely (no secure attachments) might be a good worker in a menial job, and not be unhappy with that, but acts out by neglecting their health

Applying Needs to People (Think)

Who needs the most help?

I won’t go into too much detail of the ‘what’ on how this impacts the work I’m doing and what I build, but I’ll preface the following section by saying that I feel compelled to make an impact on the Crisis of Satisfaction (self-proclaimed) and help a large portion of the (domestic) population who are affected by it.

The exact segment that I zone in on is also complicated. I mentioned earlier that I think this problem of dissatisfaction spans multiple segments in society, but I think it’s worth calling out how I view these segments. I’ve spoken with multiple folks in the non-profit and think tank space, while attempting to check my thinking with my partner (who herself is a therapist and self-described socialist).

My VERY simplified logic is as follows:

Bottom 20% → Social Work

Data on this was surprisingly hard to find for Canada, so I’ll use basic math as a replacement. Ontario’s minimum wage is $16.55 per hour, which is $28,962.50 annually using this calculator. Assuming a two-person household (not factoring in kids), that’s ~ 12% of Ontarians in the lowest bracket while there’s another 23% in the <$60k bracket (see here, i.e. 2 people on minimum wage).

The factors affecting this population segment are diverse and not one-size-fits-all. Yes, making more income is a potential solution, but can you make more income when you’re saddled with debt, working multiple jobs, and potentially raising kids? When speaking with a friend who ran a factory (blue collar workers), he said helping this population was akin to ‘social work’.

That means that for members in this population to thrive, they need one-to-one attention to dissect & tackle the issues they’re facing. In my opinion, non-profits and startups tackling this segment are doing great work, but you need a much bigger overhaul to drive systemic change (read: major changes to education system, government programs, etc.).

They also need to meet all their D-Needs, some of which are essential for survival (food, shelter, etc.). Helping this population in the lens of ‘satisfaction’ feels similar to trying to solve poverty. A noble task, but not where I think the focus of ‘living well’ fits squarely into.

Moreover (and speaking selfishly), I don’t relate to this population. A friend working in non-profits told me that I need to be truly passionate to avoid burnout when working in impact work, paraphrasing:

I also think - and I recognize I’ll get flack for saying this - that this segment already has a lot of attention on it. Non-profits, upskilling startups, etc. are all doing incredible work to help them with upwards mobility and, in the context of this post, meet their D-Needs.

Top 30% → Coaching & Therapy

As someone who exists in this segment, I can relate a lot to the problems they face. Given their income, broadly $100k+ per household (36.5% of Ontario population), I would assume:

• They have adequate income to meet their material needs (food, shelter, etc.)

  • Example: Likely not living paycheck to paycheck - able to act in longer term interest in with their personal finances

• They are meeting (or have the tools to meet) their belonging and esteem needs

  • Example: Either has a strong support system OR has the ability to pay for therapy & other mediums to improve this, whether out-of-pocket or from their employer (insurance)

• They are meeting (or have the tools to meet) their cognitive and aesthetic needs

  • Example: Either is content with their education, work, and aesthetics, OR has the ability to pay for coaching, education programs (i.e. MBA), and health enablers (gym membership, healthier diet, etc.)

I do think this segment has a lot of room to grow, and only a portion are fully in a ‘Level 4’ state of self-awareness and moving towards universal principles, seeing alternatives to their current path, etc. I believe this is the group that can most easily change career paths, move to a different city, leave an unhappy relationship, etc.

I could make the argument that turning more of this population onto an assessment of their D-Needs, what’s holding them back, and how to start addressing their B-needs and growth potential is a noble cause. However, my personal belief is:

• This segment is not truly ‘at risk’ of not accomplishing their potential and being satisfied

• This segment has adequate resources, and is primed to use those resources, at a reasonable rate

Middle 50% → Realizing Their Potential

This leaves us with the middle 50%. This is the group that isn’t struggling to make ends meet but also isn’t thriving in the traditional sense. Due to being ‘OK’ from a social good lens, I don’t think they are getting the attention they deserve. Instead, I hypothesize that a solid portion of this population is ‘stuck’.

I’ve spoken with my coach in length about the idea of ambient anxiety. I.e. after a full day of work, there’s a feeling that I haven’t done enough, and there’s underlying stress that I can’t pinpoint. I’d parallel this to this segment with the example of:

From a Dynamic Skill Scale perspective (or Kegan’s Levels), I’d say this group has a lot of the requisite Abstractions (Level 3) but isn’t at the state of broader application. Why should you care about others when you yourself aren’t thriving?

I love the breakdown of Level 3 because I think it emphasizes how much external influence has on this population. If someone in the Middle 50% has all thier friends working 9-5s and with a single income source, they can be validated that they’re doing OK. If their friends aren’t exploring their interests and asking the “what ifs”, then not doing so is normalized.

Not to say that everyone in this population is complacent; quite the opposite. I think lots of folks in this group are ‘doing the work’ to meet their B-Needs — I would only argue that the portion who aren’t have a greater propensity to do so VS the Bottom 20%, but don’t have the resources to explore this as the Top 30%.

Take personal training & nutrition coaching for example. I’d assume a lot of folks in the Bottom 20% don’t have the income to eat healthy and meet physical health needs. For folks in the Top 30%, they only need to be convinced (by friends, ads, etc.) to get a trainer or use a nutrition program. It’s the middle 50% that doesn’t have the obvious barriers to do this, but may lack the awareness or means (VS the Top 30%) to explore it.

Point of Entry: Income Diversification

I’ve written in depth about this problem space and the segment that I feel most passionate about / connected to. To repeat my intro, if there isn’t a panacea to the Crisis of Satisfaction, then where do you start?

I believe that while therapy, physical health, growing relationships, etc. are all great entry points, it is VERY hard to convince someone who isn’t in a ‘primed’ (Top 30%) group to take this leap. These aren’t the folks who are thinking about Huberman Lab and biohacking, considering getting an Eight Sleep mattress or Levels tracker. I believe that for a lot of this group, these options seem very ‘woo-hoo’-y or overkill.

Instead, I want to focus on a metric that I have personally seen great impact from: income. Regardless of what strata you are in for society, if you have a single source of income, you are tied to your job. The Bottom 20% is struggling to make enough (with multiple jobs) to meet that single level, while the Top 30% have adequate savings and investments to take sabbaticals, quit jobs they don’t enjoy, or get training for a new role.

For the Middle 50%, I hypothesize that it’s the linear nature of work & income that is their greatest inhibitor. Take the following example:

• Jim makes $60k/year as a Data Analyst at a CPG brand

  • $29hr (60,000 / 2,800 (40*52))

• He doesn’t have the education or years of experience to make the jump to Manager ($72k/yr)

• Jim wants to make more money, but sees his options as:

  • 1) Get Promoted - he doesn’t think a Master’s degree is worth the money or time

  • 2) Entrepreneurship - too risky and he doesn’t know what to start. Dropshipping sounds cool.

  • 3) Gig Work - Jim could pick up shifts at a restaurant or drive for Uber, but this would a small gain for too big a hassle, which really isn’t necessary (he meets all his needs)

• Outcome: Jim will wait until he gets promoted at his day job to make more money.

If Jim can diversify his income in a way that doesn’t greatly inconvenience him (i.e. going to a restaurant for shifts, driving for Uber) and he thinks has growth potential (i.e. entrepreneurship), then he definitely would. Let’s look at a fictional example (more detail later) on Jim’s situation:

• Jim finds a new role that he does in evenings / weekends for 5 hours / wk

  • He benchmarks off his day job ($30hr) → $150/wk, $600/mo

• Jim is making 12% more than his day job, more than halving the gap between his current job and the Manager role at work

• Jim’s life may not have materially changed (i.e. not buying a new house, changing lifestyle) but he recognizes that his existing scenario is malleable - his local maxima (potential), at least with income, is higher than it was before

Here’s what I anticipate will happen with Jim:

1. Jim starts to ask himself how else he can make income and improve his quality of life

   1. He contemplates increasing his freelance hours ($30hr job)

   2. He looks at higher paying freelance jobs that may require additional training

   3. He looks more seriously at entrepreneurship, including related to his current work (i.e. outsourcing work to improve his freelance take-home rate)

2. Jim starts to question other areas of his life, and whether the same logic can be applied

   1. Can he be doing more for his physical health, relationships, etc.?

   2. What else is Jim interested in that he wants to explore?

I think this entry point will make the provider a trusted ally for Jim, and make it easier for them to introduce new concepts to Jim about B-Needs (and an accurate self assessment of D-Needs) so that he can continue to improve his overall life satisfaction.

What I’m Doing (Build)

I plan to add this section every week (with hopefully a MUCH shorter Learn / Think section), as I focus more on status updates and outcomes VS purely the thoughts around what I want to impact.

As you can tell from the above, there are a LOT of assumptions that haven’t been validated. I’ve been diving into this space for the past ~ month, so my findings are really just the result of talking to 5-6 people and reading a couple of books. As with any venture, the next step is all around validation.

To recap, here are the (many) major assumptions that I’m making which I need to validate:

1. Concept — Kegan Levels / Dynamic Skill Scale

   1. Many folks in the Middle 50% don’t experience high levels of life satisfaction

   2. When asked to evaluate their lives, Middle 50% draw on external sources for validation (Level 3) instead of intrinsic observations

2. Concept — Income Diversification as a Solution

   1. Middle 50% see wealth as the primary barrier to satisfaction (over health, relationships, etc.)

   2. When asked about material outcomes, they prioritize freedom (for income) more than simply making more money in their current role

   3. Low portion have tried freelancing, but want to

   4. Low portion have tried entrepreneurial ventures, but want to

3. Concept — Not Primed for Point Solutions

   1. Middle 50% are not interested in health solutions (i.e. Eight Sleep, Levels Health, personal training) - TBD whether due to cost or belief

   2. They are not interested in relationship solutions (i.e. therapist) - TBD whether due to cost or belief

   3. They don’t have a great grasp of their aspirations or 10-year self - they can’t accurately describe what ‘thriving’ looks like to them (B-Needs) and broader purpose

‘Building’ this week, therefore looks like:

1. Making a question list (template - live interview or survey) and a method of distributing it

   1. Targeting 10-15 interviews by next week and closer to 40-50 if doing survey

2. Digging into opportunity for income diversification

   1. Assuming freelance, remote/asynchronous (do it whenever), and roles with a bias for onshore talent

3. Read more into companies & non-profits tackling B-Needs and existing methods for evaluating D-Needs

How you can help

If you are looking to lend a hand with my exploration + building, I thought I’d add this section as a way to do so! I can compensate you monetarily for more formal work, but otherwise it might be a coffee/meal, trivia questions from The Office, or a taste of my standup routine (building since 2021).

Ideas about audiences & profiles

The example of “Jim” is quite generic, and as I’ve spoken to some of you in more detail about what I’m thinking, I’ve gotten potential entry points:

• People working at Fortune 500 (Boeing, PwC, etc.) who have limited PTO and are required to go in-office for all/most of their week

• Parents (with kids aged 7-18) who had to forgo riskier decisions (entrepreneurship, getting more education, drastic job shift) and are in a holding pattern

• Immigrants who are in their late 20s / 30s and finished an equivalency program (i.e. George Brown diploma) but are comparatively underemployed

• People working jobs with high stability but low ceilings - paralegal, government employee, data analyst / supply chain role

If you have thoughts on this and who you think might be best primed for making additional income (and some level of ‘stuckness’), please let me know!

How to build a reliable survey

I’ve done lots of work in user research from a venture / startup perspective, but that often meant directional results VS doing things that followed a more academic approach.

If you conduct or have conducted research where you needed to build a survey, set of interview questions, etc. in a more scientific or formal capacity, I would appreciate a conversation.

Relevant research, companies, topic areas, etc.

I’m very green to this space, so if this post sparked anything re: what you’ve read before, companies you’ve interacted with, authors or influencers that speak to this, etc, I would love if you can send them my way.

Stay tuned for my next weekly update!